Instagram - Marisa Russello

marisarussellowrites

A few years ago, I wanted to pay someone to sleep

A few years ago, I wanted to pay someone to sleep with my husband.

I'd been deeply depressed for months and had ZERO libido. I did not want to be touched. Anytime. Anywhere.

I worried my husband would be unhappy that I was depriving him of sex and abandon me. So, to prevent him from leaving, I demanded that he sleep with a sex worker at least once a week. I even offered to pay the bill!

Thank God he had the sense not to do that.

Eventually, we realized one of my medications caused my low sex drive, probably making me even more depressed.

Before starting a new med, talk to your doctor about side effects you're okay with and ones you're not. Afterward, pay close attention to your response because meds react differently in everyone and could cause changes you don't expect or aren't even paying attention to. Please don't live with side effects that make you miserable.

💊 What are the worst side effects you've dealt with? Any good ones? And how do you cope with low libido in a relationship?

[Image Description: Black and white photo of a woman's legs. She's sitting on the edge of a bed and wearing black stilettos. Is it me? Who knows?]

#LowLibido #Depression #SexLife #TalkAboutMentalHealth #LowSexDrive #Medication #Antidepressants #AnxietyRelief #ItsOkayNotToBeOkay #BipolarDisorder #MentalWellness #SuicidalThoughts #DepressionSupport #MarisaMuses

Love is a bridge between two people. Marriage is t

Love is a bridge between two people. Marriage is the suspension cable. You need just the right amount of tension to keep it together. Off by only a bit and it breaks. ❤️

Our invitations to the Met Gala must have gotten lost in the mail, but Kate and Sina's wedding was way more fun! I wore a glamorous 100% polyester dress, a one-of-a-kind look designed by Macy’s BCX and made in Vietnam. I styled my own hair.

Congratulations to the beautiful couple. Here’s my advice for a good marriage:

1) Communicate how you feel, and remember the other person can’t read minds. They won’t know what’s bothering you unless you actually tell them.

2) Treat your marriage as your most important relationship and your partner as your BFF.

3) Don’t keep any secrets. Ever. The right person will still love you, quirks and all.

4) Surprise each other with thoughtful little things at random times.

5) Laugh together every day, and come up with a bunch of inside jokes.

6) Don’t bring up past mistakes in an argument (especially more than once!).

7) Pick up that thing on the floor/table/counter that you keep waiting for the other person to pick up.

8) Forget the small stuff that annoys you. (Who cares if they make you face the toilet paper roll in some arbitrary direction? Just do it and move on.)

9) If you’re angry, step away for a while and come back to talk when you’ve both calmed down a bit.

10) Don’t take marriage advice from other people. Relationships are different, and it’s your marriage, not theirs.

What’s your advice on this topic? 😀

"This looks like a good place to lie down." 🤦

"This looks like a good place to lie down." 🤦

I think Terry might be tired of his new "little" sister getting all the attention. What do you think? Why does he keep sitting on Lucy?

We spent this weekend in a treehouse! Wood you bel

We spent this weekend in a treehouse! Wood you believe it?

We didn't want to leaf! 🍃

Okay, I'll stop now. I just love acorn-y joke...

Seriously, though, we had an awesome time at this Airbnb treehouse. It's so cozy, and the details of the design are incredibly intricate. The owner has also thought of everything you'd need!

And how amazing was it to have a vacation after two full years at home! Who else has gone away this summer? Anywhere you'd recommend?

[Image descriptions in alternative text.]

Have you put your stamp on the world yet?? My fri

Have you put your stamp on the world yet??

My friend Lynn is a talented artist and an expert at carving rubber stamps. She uses metal tools to carve intricate images into rubber blocks and creates art or handmade cards, etc. Slide through to check out some of her work!

If you're interested in asking Lynn to make a particular design for you, you can contact her at @edlynntb.

Do you have any interesting hobbies or know of anyone who does something else cool like this? Please share!

Shout out! 👏

My 1st two nonfiction bylines in the same month!!!

My 1st two nonfiction bylines in the same month!!!

An excerpt from my memoir was published in Catapult July 14th.

Then July 22nd, one of my creative nonfiction stories, Panic in the Freezer Aisle, was published in Hypertext Magazine.

Links to these pieces are in my bio. I'll be doing a live reading of the Hypertext story on July 29th at 8 p.m. ET. Message me if you're interested!

I first started writing and studying how to write 4 years ago. When I look back at old stories, I'm amazed at how much I've learned in such a short time. I can see the difference in my writing. I notice the little mistakes I used to make that I'd never do anymore. I'm proud of myself.

I always had a knack for writing, but I got to where I am now with a lot of hard work, practice, and reading. I think I grow the most from reading other people's work, both published authors and beginning writers. I learn what I want to emulate and how to do so as well as things I may want to avoid.

How do you learn best? Have you been studying anything new recently? How have you grown in the past few years?

It’s okay to fall apart. Tacos do and we still l

It’s okay to fall apart. Tacos do and we still love them.

The last time I fell apart my husband opened the bathroom door to find me standing like this. I almost swung the toilet paper holder at his head.

Let me explain…

I’m terrified that someone will break into my house one day while I’m in the shower. I won’t hear it, and they’ll murder me. This is despite the fact that all the doors and windows are locked, and we have two dogs and an alarm system. I also bring a panic button into the bathroom.

That day I forgot the panic button.

The whole time I showered, I kept imagining one scenario after another. A man in a mask waited for me outside the door. No, two men were waiting with kitchen knives. No, three!

But they probably won’t attack me until I finish showering, I reasoned.

When I did finish, I left the water running. The only weapon I thought of was the toilet paper holder. I flipped it upside down and held it above my head for an hour. An hour. Until my husband got home.

When’s the last time you fell apart?

(see 2nd slide for taco! 🌮 )

We are the architects of our lives. Some snapshot

We are the architects of our lives.

Some snapshots from my trip to Chicago last weekend.

I loved seeing all the buildings on the river boat tour. Have you ever been?

Do you have any travel plans this summer?

Airing out my smelly feet in the backyard! I have

Airing out my smelly feet in the backyard!

I haven't painted my nails in like three years. I decided my feet need to look respectable for my first trip to Chicago this weekend.

I'm visiting with the amazing writers I've spent a year working with in a memoir class led by Megan Stielstra, a spectacular writer and teacher. I can't wait to finally meet them.

What's the longest online relationship you've had before meeting that person in real life? Was it strange to interact without a screen between you?

My friend Ashleigh’s memoir sold 5,000+ copies i

My friend Ashleigh’s memoir sold 5,000+ copies in its first week alone. Did you know 98% of books sell fewer than 5,000 copies in their lifetime?!

Today I received my own signed copy of this instant bestseller. Here’s my book review:

SWING is not the kind of book I'd typically pick out to read. I doubt I’d have bought it had it not been so highly recommended. But I am so glad that I did! I loved listening to the audiobook. Within the first page, I was both surprised and laughing out loud. By the end of that initial chapter, I was hooked. I listened to the whole story within only a few days.

What a gift it was to listen to Ashleigh narrate the book. I'm an avid audiobook listener, and I feel that the writer isn't always the best person to read their memoir, even though that's often the case. However, Ashleigh had such a pleasant voice as if listening to a good friend, and she never spoke too soft or too loud, which is perfect for whether you’re listening through headphones or in a noisy place. She also had wonderful intonation and was never monotone, which is so important for an audiobook.

Although those scenes are definitely steamy, this book is about so much more than sex clubs. The story did not disappoint, but I won't spoil it! Check the book out for yourself.

And if you don’t already know about Ashleigh, check out her IG: @ashleighrenard. She posts about keeping your monogamous relationship hot, how to get your kids to clean the house, etc., is an amazing literary citizen, and a hilarious, generous person.

Rethink what you know. I've learned to stop usin

Rethink what you know.

I've learned to stop using the words "mental illness" to describe myself. That language has a negative connotation. It implies there's something wrong with us that should be fixed.

But I'm not broken.

I don't need to be fixed.

What labels do people put on you that you hate?

A question about frogs led to something wonderful

A question about frogs led to something wonderful in my husband's 4th grade classroom.

Mr. Russello recently started a game in his class where his students have to spy where he's hidden a tiny frog. This week when they found it, the kids asked if it was a boy or girl. Mr. Russello explained that he didn't know because frogs can change gender.

"So it's a they/them," one of the students said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Mr. Russello said. He added that if anyone in the class had different pronouns they wanted to share with him, they could do so whenever they felt comfortable.

A student who usually went by she/her immediately raised a hand: "I like to use they/them pronouns."

Before the day was over, two more students (out of 12) shared their different pronouns, and Mr. Russello had everyone add them to their desk name tags.

Next year my husband will do this from day one of school—like every teacher should—along with asking what name each student goes by and how to pronounce it.

These things might seem little, but they're a big deal to kids (and adults). How we treat people matters. Kindness matters.

Photo by Stephen Hocking on Unsplash.

Bring out the champagne!! I'm now 100% certified.

Bring out the champagne!! I'm now 100% certified.

As what? You might ask. Well, after almost 3 years working as a "provisional" Peer Recovery Specialist, I now have enough hours and training to be fully NYS certified.

What the heck is a Peer Recovery Specialist? You ask.

It's a job more people should know about. In a sentence, it's someone who has experience struggling with feeling mentally well and specific training on using their personal experiences to support others in their recovery.

I work in a peer-run division of a local not-for-profit where I support individuals in improving their mental health and wellness. "Peer-run" means that everyone who works there, even my boss, has lived experience with mental health conditions. We all speak openly about our mental health and hope to empower others to live their best lives and learn to advocate for themselves.

We work with people in a variety of groups and one-on-one, in-person and online. All of our activities and programs are free and open to everyone.

✨ Is something like this available in your area? Try googling "peer support services nearby" and let me know what you find!

One person was held accountable. There was no just

One person was held accountable. There was no justice.

You can take people out of the system, but the system will continue, a system that is designed to maintain the status quo, a system that is not keeping people safe, a system that is not working.

We need to end police violence. We do not need the Justice in Policing Act. This bill would not have saved lives; it only spends more money on reforming police departments. We need to try something drastically different. We need the BREATHE Act.

We continue to criminalize Black people before they've done anything. According to the Bureau of Justice, 1 out of 17 white men will likely go to jail or prison in their lifetime compared to 1 out of 3 Black men. There are more Black men in prison now than there were slaves back in the 1850s. How can we keep treating human beings this way?

When Black lives matter, everyone's life will matter. Help make the BREATHE Act a reality.

What can you do? Link in my bio.

How much is that doggie in the window? She's no

How much is that doggie in the window?

She's no longer for sale! Meet Lucy, the newest addition to our family.

She loves to relax in the sun under the window. What kind of dog do you think she is?

How many icons do you currently have on your deskt

How many icons do you currently have on your desktop?

I recently decluttered and revamped my desktop into five categories that everything I do falls into: work, personal, to-do, writing, and important info. I did this by creating my own desktop background in Canva, an easy-to-use (and free!) graphic design site. I made each section a different size depending on how much I typically use it. Then I created folders inside each section for every possible topic I might need. Within those folders are more folders and so on.

I got this idea from Etsy where I saw people selling these desktop backgrounds from anywhere between $5-$10. I thought to myself, "What a cool idea! And what a ripoff! I could make that in 5 minutes." So I did.

I also replaced the generic blue folder icons on my desktop with "prettier" folders that have images on them. (The images correlate to the folder topics.) Those, I did buy on Etsy for $2 because it would have taken me a lot longer to create them myself.

My "To-Do" section is a great space to put documents I need to work on until they're finished, but the one thing I haven't figured out yet is how to keep an actual to-do list there. If I click over to the dashboard, there's a sticky note that allows me to type items to-do onto the screen—does anyone know how to get something like that on my desktop?

And what other organization techniques do you have?

Acknowledgements: this post was inspired by @julievickwriter 's open browser tab post.

Did you hear? 35 is the new 15. My husband and I

Did you hear? 35 is the new 15.

My husband and I tried to do a birthday photoshoot, but it's very windy and cold. I swear my hair looked really good.

Winter, you can go now. 💨

"You're too young to take so many pills!" I hea

"You're too young to take so many pills!"

I hear that a lot, even from some of my own doctors.

Although you wouldn't know it from the amount of meds I take, I am cautious about the kind of drugs and how much of them I put into my body. Unfortunately, I’ve found it’s necessary for me to take a large number of medications to keep myself alive and out of hospitals.

That said, decisions about taking medication are very personal, and there is no right or wrong choice. It’s taken me years of trial and error to find a combination of meds that work for me. Even so, there’s no perfect prescription.

Despite all the pills, monthly shots, and periodic Botox injections, I still have frequent migraines. I am often somewhat depressed, regardless of antidepressants and other psychotropic meds. If I let myself get too stressed or don’t sleep enough, I could still spiral into mania. And I always have in the back of my mind that one day this med combo could—and likely will—stop working for me.

What do people tell you you're too young or too old or too whatever for?

(P.S.- The rocks in the photo are not a secret metaphor. I was trying to be artistic.)

You didn't really think I'd let you see inside, di

You didn't really think I'd let you see inside, did you?

It's our house-iversary! One year ago we bought our first home. So far we've needed a replacement well water pump and a completely new chimney, had two roof leaks, septic issues, mice, a ladybug invasion, and I'm probably forgetting something.

We also saw a huge bear on our front lawn within a week of living here! There have been many animal visitors since.

I had no idea picking up sticks from the lawn was a thing until buying a house. So much maintenance. I think the worst chore is dusting because 4 days later, it's back again. What chore do you hate most?

And one mystery I can't solve: what do we do with all the deer poop on our grass? It's EVERYWHERE.

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RT @HypertextMag CW: description of a panic attack "It was when we turned into the freezer aisle that everything went to shit." Read our featured #nonfiction flash by @russellowrites at hypertextmag.com/pan… #amreading #litmag #writerslift #anxiety #MentalHealthMatters pic.twitter.com/vw3W…

About 5 days ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter for Android · reply · retweet · favorite

Spotted @AriannaRebolini on the @librofm homepage! Order your books now everybody. blog.libro.fm/7-reas…

About 2 weeks ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter for Android · reply · retweet · favorite

Compelling essay. "For years I’d believed there was a hierarchy of grief. As the daughter who’d left, the sister who’d missed the signs, and the child who couldn’t put her parents back together again, I believed my pain belonged on the bottom rung." huffpost.com/entry/b… twitter.com/LisaElli…

About 3 weeks ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter Web App · reply · retweet · favorite

"You wrote a whole book. You can do anything." - Thanks for this reminder, @kate_mckean! I needed that today. 😀

About 3 weeks ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter Web App · reply · retweet · favorite

5 stars for Blind Man's Bluff by @JamesTateHill! Wonderful book. And totally worth it for the deodorant/Titanic necklace joke alone. My Goodreads review: goodreads.com/review…

About a month ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter Web App · reply · retweet · favorite

RT @JamesTateHill Dear restaurants, Snapping a picture of your menu and posting it to your website is not an accessible online menu.

About a month ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter Web App · reply · retweet · favorite

RT @JamesTateHill WritingTip: Feel 100% better about your book's GoodReads rating by looking up the GoodReads rating of literally any book you've ever enjoyed.

About 2 months ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter for Android · reply · retweet · favorite

Are you linguistically prejudiced? AKA are you one of those assholes who corrects everyone's mispronunciations? STOP IT. theconversation.com/…

About 2 months ago from Marisa Russello (she/her)'s Twitter via Twitter for Android · reply · retweet · favorite

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